Faith Walk: Chapter 6

This post is part of a series of journal transcriptions from my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY during May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Sunday May 30, 2004 8:35 AM EST

I resume writing having stopped late yesterday after a marathon session. I arose to my watch alarm at 3:00 AM this morning for Vigils at 3:15 AM, although I was already awake. A thunderstorm had descended upon the Abbey. I was lying in bed listening to the rain and thunder, and watching the lightning dimly strobe my room through the filter of the window blinds and half-closed eyelids.

Vigils, Lauds, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers and Compline are the seven hours of the liturgy of the hours or opus Dei (work of God) as St. Benedict called it in his Rule. They are common prayer services, the prayer of the Church as well as the prayer of our community. None of these hours actually lasts an hour. All seven add up to two and a half or two and three-quarters hours. The backbone of these services is the 150 psalms, sung or recited according to a two-week cycle. At each hour there is also a hymn, reading from Scripture, prayer of the day and commemoration of Our Lady. Some of the brothers recite a simple office of Our Fathers, Hail Marys and Glory Be to the Fathers in another part of the monastery. The monks and others who pray the liturgy of the hours do so on behalf of the Church, and of all humankind, to praise, thank and petition God throughout the day. [1]

I enjoy Vigils because it is quiet, sparsely attended, and the prayer time has an overwhelming spiritual ambiance: a sanctuary shrouded in the early morning darkness subtly illuminated by candle light. The flickering flames create fluttering shadow angels on the high Abbey walls, apparitions formed from the praying figures of the monks. The environment demands a quiet, meditative attitude impressing upon you that this is a place of worship and reverence, and that you are in the presence of God. This atmosphere is further imposed by the storm that accompanies our vigil. Lightning flashes like epiphanies, and thunder resonates deeply through the stone of the Abby before rumbling off into the distance. It is as if the heavenly hosts are slowly sweeping through. I catch imaginative glimpses of the specter that accompanied Israel and Moses in their wanderings.

Father Matthew mentioned in last evening’s homily that after Pentecost, the form of man, worship, and the Church was different because the Holy Spirit accompanies us now as promised by Jesus after He left us. Today is Pentecost and this is the first worship period of the day. I cannot help but feel a connection between the power of the storm and the Holy Spirit as we worship.

I left my story on Monday afternoon, May 17, 2004, heading to my interview with EASI after the events of Sunday evening and Monday morning with Phil, Nathan, and the family. The interview goes well. We had taken one car to the hospital Monday morning knowing we would be back that afternoon. Anita and Maria have driven me to Hendersonville for the interview. I call Anita via our cell phones when I am finished as she and Maria are cruising around. We head back to Nashville with greater hope as EASI has invited me back for a second interview. I am to return on Thursday at 10:00 AM.

On the way into Nashville, the Philadelphia lawyers call regarding the intellectual property dispute in which I am involved for CIC’s parent, Exelon Energies, who is selling us. They want me to change my schedule for the following week. Referencing Chapter 4, I have told the attorneys from the beginning that I am not available on those dates. I have a ticket to the Rush concert on the 26th, and my Gethsemani retreat begins on May 28. The Rush concert is opening night of their new tour, and they have not toured in about five years. I am adamant that I cannot change my schedule. Keep in mind that Exelon has seen fit to dump me on the street at the end of the month, with no severance, yet they want me to continue assisting with the case and be a key witness as well. The lawyers are sympathetic, and they have argued my case with Exelon. They cannot understand how Exelon is hanging their key witness out to dry. They have said they would understand if I told everyone to, “Go pound sand.” I will help as I can, but I will not change my schedule.

On Tuesday May 18, I am back on the phone with the lawyers. Paul, the lead attorney, a very profane but otherwise nice person understands my stance. He is scrambling to adjust the witness schedule to get me in on the next Monday and maybe carryover until Wednesday so I can get back to Nashville by Wednesday afternoon. The judge is not meeting on Tuesday, how convenient. Paul likes me, and he tells me not to apologize. He has been pressing for a severance package but hasn’t had any luck. Although Paul and I are completely two different people with different sets of values, I have formed a friendship with him, and with the co-lead attorney. The co-lead attorney, Rich, is an ex-football player, ex-district attorney who has seen more than anyone can imagine. When he was a child, his father was executed in the streets while they were walking together. His father was a non-violent, Cuban resistance leader. I think Rich was 8 years old when he testified in a world court. He has a daughter who is Maria’s age who is dying from an ALS type disorder that affects children. She is the oldest living child with the disease. Rich is a great guy and a strong, sincere family man. I have been praying hard for his family, which they truly seem to appreciate.

Changing themes for a moment, I failed to write about another powerful event involving Christ and His Church that occurred on Sunday. I had mentioned in an earlier chapter a family for whom I had been praying. Their 7-year-old daughter, Julia, had been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, despite the congregation’s fervent prayers that the tests would be negative. I had truly felt in my heart that she would not be found positive. I had steadfastly relied on Mark 11: 22-24:

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” [2]

On this Sunday morning, Tim, our minister, noticed the mother Maria crying in her pew. Many of us had noticed, and we were tearful as well. Tim said he could not preach until he dealt with this opportunity. He walked over to the family. I got up to accompany Tim. A large number followed including our elders. We put our hands on the family and prayed over them. Their younger son, our daughter’s age, was to be tested for CF the coming Friday. At Wednesday evening services, we are asked to pray and fast for young John’s CF testing.

There was a benefit barbeque and concert after Church that Sunday for the Wayne Reed Christian Childcare Center. Todd, Julia’s father, gave me an extra ticket he had to attend. We had not bought tickets at $25 per person due to our uncertain financial state. Maria had a cold that morning so Anita had stayed with her at home. What an act of kindness on Todd’s part. Wayne Reed is a long time member at our church. We used to play basketball together every Sunday afternoon. Wayne and his wife, Diana, founded the Christian Childcare Center after realizing Wayne would not be able to coach his sons in sports when Wayne was diagnosed with ALS. Wayne suffers mightily, but he is at Church every Sunday. He has had the disease a long time now, much longer than most with ALS. A true miracle. I am surrounded by examples that put my situation into sharp perspective teaching me how to handle my trials with faith and courage.

Back to Tuesday, May 18: That afternoon I get a call from Ingram whom I had felt was another lost job opportunity. They want me to come in on Wednesday. Amazing how the Lord is working. I am officially terminated, but I have two follow-up interviews in the same week, both are in the Nashville area, and the Philadelphia arbitration does not interfere. I find out too that the deal for CIC Global has died. Now Ritchie and Mark, the only two at CIC that are moving on to the new company, are in the same boat I am, but they have no other prospects. I empathize with their turmoil. I head back to Vanderbilt Hospital on Tuesday afternoon to sit with Nathan’s family during his follow-up skin graft surgery. The prognosis is very good, but they do not perform the skin graft. The doctor wishes to wait until Thursday.

I go to the Ingram interview on Wednesday afternoon, but I have mixed feelings on its success. I like everyone I meet. The VP of human resources and I interact well. I also feel I did well with the team members I would be working with, and I had a nice conversation with the VP of Sales. Yet, I again get the impression that Kaj, my boss elect, does not like my personality. Kaj is a very direct but pleasant person. I like him, but I am not sure he cares for me.

Another diversion note and flash back to the Friday, May 14. I remember while I am journaling that my Vanderbilt football season ticket and my National Commodore Club donation were both due on that Friday. I had held off as long as possible not knowing if I could afford it, or even if I would be staying in Nashville. I had several resumes submitted for out-of-town jobs, and theoretically, the job with DCSI in St. Louis was still open. It was not dependent on DCSI buying CIC. My support of Vanderbilt University and its athletics programs are a financial priority. I worried that I would not be able to continue this support. I again made the leap of faith trusting that I would remain in Nashville, and that I would be able to afford my support. I renewed.

Picking up at Thursday morning May 18: I have my second interview with EASI and again it goes well. I get a better feel for the business. The position will be over all manufacturing and engineering as well as being responsible for distributor and sales support. I would report to the President, Paul. The schedule and objectives would be aggressive. I worry that Paul’s and the company owner’s expectations may be too high. The w0rkload would be heavy. Travel would be necessary, but hopefully it would not exceed 25% of my time. However, I know Paul is traveling frequently trying to do two jobs. It is evident that my family would need to move to Hendersonville eventually in order to minimize the commute time and to allow me to maximize family time. Paul and the owner tell me that whoever is in this position can write his own ticket if he can perform. They also want someone who would have fun doing the job. I like both Paul and the owner, and I feel I can succeed.

EASI is a small company with few benefits and no health insurance, so I would have to fund my own. Higher risk, greater reward, at least financially, is the way I sum it up. I like the potential, but I have some reservations about the company overall. Would I be stepping into another CIC? The interview ends shortly after lunch. They acknowledge that they will probably make an offer and will call soon. Hope grows!

I leave Hendersonville traveling to Vanderbilt to be with Nathan and family. They are just taking Nathan down for his surgery. Bailey, Nathan’s older sister, arrives from school with Phil. Bailey and I head to the playground so Phil can eat, rest, and be with his wife Patti and with Nathan. The playground is on an upper floor outside which is pretty cool. You can look out over the hospital complex while you play. You have a great view of the Life Flight helicopter traffic which is always exciting, even though I mindful of what each arrival and departure imply. Maria and Anita arrive a short time later. Maria and Bailey run to each other, shouting each other’s name, and they hug tightly. They never say a word about the situation, but this 3-year-old, almost four, and this 7-year-old know just how to minister to each other. Love abounds among sadness and tragedy. Is the growth of love among our families and our Church a tragedy? God indeed works in mysterious ways.

Nathan’s surgery is a success. I end up taking Bailey and her grandparents to her house. This allows Phil to keep their van at the hospital and to go home later that night after Nathan has come out of anesthesia. I arrive home about 8:45 PM; tired but with a measure of peace that I have not felt in a long while.

[1] “A Monk’s Day.” Monastic Life. Copyright 2003 The Abbey of Gethsemani. 19 July 2005.

[2] Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.

Faith Walk: Chapter 5

This post is part of a series of journal transcriptions from my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY during May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Saturday May 29, 2004 11:10 AM EST (Part 3)

Phil is very distraught as any father can imagine he would be. My heart is breaking for him. I hold him, and I tell him I love him. I assure him that I am not going to leave until he asks me too, and that we will get through this. At this very moment, while I am journaling this story on a garden wall here at Gethsemani, a ruby throated hummingbird suddenly appears near me dancing and flitting among the flowers. Part of the holiness and mystery of Gethsemani for me is the appearance of such natural wonders at precise moments. I feel God is paternally attentive here. He reaches out with delicate touches of grace at the perfect moment it is needed. Just two weeks later, I am writing with the tears of reflection on this heartrending event, but God reassures me with this small, magnificent gift.

The evening and early morning of May 16 and 17, 2004 is a long, but special night. Christ as the Church reveals Himself this evening. Sandra and Jeanine minister to Patti beyond waiting room doors, while Tim Mangrum and I stay with Phil. Tim is the family’s physician and pediatrician, and he is amazing. He knows just what to say and when to say it. God has truly gifted Tim as a healer. I try to stay quiet and offer physical support through hugs, shoulder massages, and head rubs. However, I do serve as a periodic spokesperson to the waiting room crowd. There must be 50 or more people present from the family’s community of faith including our elders. I am not sure, but I think every elder was present that night.

At one point in the evening, the elders and our ministers come back to pray over Phil and Patti. Phil begs for forgiveness and resolution. They nurse him with spiritual love, tell him there is nothing to forgive, and that terrible accidents occur sometimes. It is the first natural response, but we all know Phil does blame himself. Every one of us would do the same to ourselves. They understand this, and thus offering forgiveness is vital. Therefore, the elders offer forgiveness when he pleads for it. Then we encourage him, and we pray that he begins forgiving himself. We also pray for the Holy Spirit to protect this family for Satan; that he not be allowed to leverage this event for any negative affects in this family’s relationships.

I believe this time of prayer by our elders was a critical time for Phil, and may have prevented many future problems as well as immediate detrimental thoughts or actions. Christ’s love through Christian family is an amazing power that overshadows all negative powers.

Earlier that night, the nurse had told me that since Phil asked me to come back, that I should not leave him. In these situations, they feel strongly that a close friend or family member stay with the parent involved in the accident. Phil’s family and his in-laws do not live in town and will not be in until at least tomorrow. I told the nurse I would not leave Phil until he kicked me out. I told him this too. He finally kicked me out at about 12:30 AM, Monday morning. I left reluctantly.

Nathan was now out of surgery, stable, and resting. The results were that Nathan’s foot was amputated, but his knee and a good portion of his lower leg were intact. He had two places that needed skin grafts and muscle repair, which would require additional surgery in the next few days. Long-term, with a prosthetic, he would have a normal, active life. There would be few limitations if any. He would be facing future surgeries as the bone at the stump would grow, but the surrounding muscle and tissue would not. Therefore, the bone would require 2-3 more amputations as Nathan grows. Nathan is alive. Now, Phil Patti, Nathan, and Bailey must let God’s love heal them. The Church rallies around the family in the coming months.

We cannot overlook 7-year-old Bailey, Nathan’s older sister, and a big sister to our daughter Maria. Bailey witnessed the aftermath of the accident, and she likely witnessed the accident itself. She will have much to deal with. She is currently at a neighbor’s house—she was not brought to the hospital. We pick up Bailey Monday morning, and she plays with Maria at our house before we take her to the hospital to be with her family.

Bailey has spent the night with David and his wife, Jackie. They are fellow church members, and another neighbor of the family. They have been at the hospital and running back to the house for the family getting clothes and toiletries for them. David and Jackie had picked up Bailey late from another neighbor's house. I meet David at Phil’s house with our lawnmowers at 6:30 AM. We need to finish mowing the lawn, which is high. We are both working on a restless two to three hours of sleep. Our first task is to clean up the accident site, which I will not detail out of respect for the family. David and I are thankful that the family is spared the additional trauma of dealing with this job.

After we complete our tasks, I take Bailey to our house to play with Maria. I shower, and then the four us, Bailey, Anita, Maria, and I, head to the hospital for a day that we know is going to be tough on Bailey. Nevertheless, she has a strong, resilient spirit. It is her courage, energy, and happiness among tragedy that inspires Phil, and the rest of us too. It will be a long road for the family with periodic setbacks. The emotional trauma will take much more time and effort to heal than will the physical. The family’s community of Christ must be in this for the long haul and I know we will.

Sandra, Patti’s close friend, and her husband Noel are at the hospital. They have the kindness to pray over me about my interview this afternoon in the midst of this much more important ministry. Anita and Maria drive me to Hendersonville for my afternoon interview with EASI. My job situation is in sobering perspective at this moment. It doesn’t seem to really matter, as I look over at my wife and daughter—whole and healthy. I thank God.

Faith Walk: Chapter 4

This post is part of a series of journal transcriptions from my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY during May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Saturday May 29, 2004 11:10 AM EST (Part 2)

As I wait to hear from Ingram and brace myself for another disappointment, I continue to wrestle with the issue of tithing. As I mentioned earlier, my wife and I had decided that tithing would be our financial priority regardless of what our new situation would be. However, during the seemingly interminable wait for Ingram’s decision, I found myself contemplating the tithing issue and the immediate blessing that occurred after our commitment. Something was pressuring me to start the commitment immediately rather than wait for resolution of our fate. This pressure was definitely not a Pavlovian response to action then reward. My faith does not hold to a health and wealth mentality. No, this was some external force not an internal force. It was a conviction.

Yet, with only a couple of guaranteed paychecks remaining and a likely period of unempl0yment afterward, we could use every penny. I was not sure tithing, which would about double our current contribution, was even feasible, well alone prudent. Conversely, if a cliff appears, if a leap of faith presents itself, shouldn’t we jump? The story of the widow’s mite could not help but come to mind.

He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “I tell you the truth,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” -- Luke 21:2-4 [1]

I leapt and wrote the check for our next contribution tithing on our monthly gross income. I thought I had discussed this with my wife and had gotten her agreement. Sadly, there was, borrowing from Cool Hand Luke, a failure to communicate. Anita was quite surprised and fearful, as was I, but she supported me in the bold (rash? faithful?) action.

Several powerful events occurred quickly after this. Within a day or two of contributing the tithe, I got a call from a Hendersonville company, EASI, about a Director of Engineering position. The phone interview went extremely well, and I was invited to a formal interview. The interviewer would call tomorrow to schedule. My time for testifying at the arbitration in Philadelphia was a day-to-day decision that kept dragging on. I informed the gentleman of my situation, and that I may have to travel to Philly at a moments notice. He understood. He had to wait until tomorrow to schedule because of a deposition in which he was involved.

This was Thursday, May 13, 2004. That same day, the president of CIC Global informed me that May 31st would be the end my tenure. No severance, but CIC would pay my insurance for June, and the ceiling on vacation pay would be waived, which was set at 192 hours. I had just over 200 hours of accrued vacation. In addition, I would receive full vesting in my 401(k) so that I would not lose any matching dollars. God provides.

Rachel, our part-time office manager, also gave me a book called Career Shock written by her late husband, James C. Cotham. He had been an executive with the Nashville Gas Company, South Central Bell, Nashville City Bank, and First National Bank in Clarksville. He also served as Commissioner of Economic and Community Development in the cabinet of Governor Lamar Alexander. He spent the last years of his life as a professor of management in the Jack Massey Graduate School of Business at Belmont University. The Massey School was where I had studied for my MBA. Dr. Cotham died from cancer during the semester I started the program. The book is excellent and helped in my thoughts about what was going on in my life, how to manage it, and how to make it a positive turning point in my life. Dr. Cotham expounded on what he had learned was important in making career decisions. I don't remember money being on his list. Quality of life, family, enthusiasm for the job, trust in management, and alignment of personal beliefs with management were the points he emphasized. Rachel is a spiritual woman and truly reflects Christ in her life. From what I understand, the same was true of her husband. His book was ministering to me. Another blessing from God.

A wealth of news, blessings, and a mixed bag of emotions are occurring in my life. The end is near, but a measure of hope is on the horizon.

I contact my friend Chuck at Ingram sure in my mind that I am not in the running. He informs me that round one is over and that round two is beginning. He tells me not to worry. I still have strong doubts, but I pray to God to intervene while deferring to His will. I want to work for Ingram. Besides Chuck, for whom I have deep respect, another friend and brother in Christ works for Ingram. Chad and his wife, prior to their marriage, were in the college life group my wife and I lead in our home. Chad and Laura are special people, and they have prayed diligently for me. Both Chuck and Chad speak highly of Ingram.

On Friday, May 14, 2004, I schedule an interview with EASI for Monday, May 17. I also find out that I will not have to fly to Philadelphia that week, but they do expect me to testify on Wednesday, May 26, and Friday, May 28. From the beginning of the case, I have told the attorneys that I am not available on those dates, and I remind them of this. I have a ticket to the Rush concert on the 26th, and this Gethsemani retreat begins on May 28. The Rush concert is opening night of the tour for their new album after a very long absence. This is Rush’s first tour since the drummer’s daughter was killed in a car accident and then losing his wife to cancer within a ten month period. This is an incredible story of healing which the drummer, Neil Peart, chronicled in his book, Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road. Besides being one of the best drummers in the world, he is also an award-winning author (for this book).

On Sunday evening, May 16, at about 6:00 pm, we get a call from a church friend. Another family we are close to has had a terrible accident involving there 3-year-old son, Nathan, who is a playmate of our daughter Maria. Nathan had gotten behind the lawnmower and his dad could not see him. While backing up, he ran over Nathan’s leg. Nathan’s older sister witnessed the accident. The family is at Vanderbilt’s Children Hospital. The sister is staying at a neighbor's house. We rush to the hospital to help. Nathan’s father, Phil, is dear to me. He is one of the most devoted, loving fathers you could ever meet. Phil is devastated when we arrive. I know he is torturing himself mentally and emotionally. The staff is still doing emergency procedures on Nathan. He will survive but has severe damage to the right foot and leg. A friend Rob and one of our elders, Steve, are present and ministering to Phil. Shortly after we arrive, the nurse asks Phil to come back as they discuss options and treatment. The nurse asks if he wants someone with him. Phil asks Jeanine, Steve’s wife, to come back and be with his wife, Patti. I tell Phil any of us will go with him if he needs us.

During the time after Phil is called back, Rob, Steve, my wife Anita, and I pray for the family. Our daughter Maria is present as we pray for her friend Nathan. Sandra, a very close friend of Patti’s, arrives and joins us. During our chain prayer, the nurse returns and asks for me. Phil has requested my presence. I go back standing with Phil next to Nathan’s gurney as he waits for surgery. He is sedated and stable. I pray silently and hold Phil. My job situation no longer exists as a reality, as even an event in this universe. My heart pours out to God for this child and for Phil. My mind is totally void of any knowledge of how to deal with this situation and h0w to minister to Phil. I beg silently for God to act for me as I look down on Nathan and knead Phil’s shoulder.


[1] Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.

Faith Walk: Chapter 3

This post is part of a series of journal transcriptions from my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY during May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Saturday May 29, 2004 11:10 AM EST (Part 1)

I resume my story from Chapter 1. I have just returned from a three hour hike through the woods and among the hills west of the Abbey. The Abbey of Gethsemani is the largest, and America's oldest, order of Cistercian Monks and was founded in 1848. It encompasses approximately 2000 acres (3.1 sq. mi.) of rolling hills, woodlands, lakes, and fields. It was a beautiful, sun swept morning when I walked into the midst of God’s world, emptied my heart, and asked Him to speak to me. Time lost its relevance freeing me to contemplate and listen concerning the decisions I am facing in the coming week. Back to that story and April 2004.

I am facing imminent unemployment and after six months of a vigorous job search, I have no prospects. It appears that May will be my last month of income. I begin contingency planning for joblessness; financial planning for living on unemployment, including liquidating my assets and 401k; how long can I keep my house; when to sell, etc.

Job leads pop up sporadically, but they all drop into the abyss of "we will keep your resume on file." Periods of doubt and depression ghost me, but I force myself to stay focused on moving forward and trusting God. I keep telling myself He will provide. In my heart and subconscious, I trust Him. So many prayers on my family’s behalf from so many people fortify me. My men's group provides strong support. Moving from late April into early May, I am really in a hole now. No job prospects. May termination becomes more likely everyday. Doug, a co-worker at CIC Global, my close friend and Christian confidant, has found a job and has left CIC. Being in the office is very difficult, especially with little to do. Everything is on hold as we wait for the sale of the company to close.

Through all this, I am traveling to Philadelphia periodically. I am helping to prepare for arbitration over a contract and Intellectual Property dispute involving CIC. I am a key person in defending CIC’s parent company, Exelon Energies in the case, yet they are about to dump me on the street. All inquiries about a severance for my service go unheeded. In addition, several disappointments occur in my spiritual life.

My men’s group has been praying hard for one of our members for a long time concerning a very bad situation involving his alcoholic daughter and her children. This situation has been a burden on the family for years and continues to worsen rapidly. It seems the harder we pray the worse things get.

Another family I have been praying for just received devastating news. Their daughter has been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I truly felt in my heart that the answer would be good news. Another negative answer to diligent prayer. These two families, my job—so many unanswered or negatively answered prayers it seems. Nevertheless, I stay faithful, desperately telling myself that God will provide. My mind does not want to hang onto this hope, this illogic in the face of surface evidence. It wants to give in to the despair that feels like an attack upon my soul. It probably is; from Satan.

So, I struggle uphill in my walk of faith. To that effort, I spend more time in contemplation, praying, and being with God now. I will not abandon God, even if I feel He may be abandoning me. My reasoning of faith says He is not, but so much of me wants to give up the fight of believing God is active rather than passive. I remind myself that God has provided for me over the last several months. I could easily be out of work, but the deal for CIC has dragged on keeping me employed.

During this period of April to May 2004, I had been meditating on another spiritual issue that has been on and off again since my first trip to Gethsemani. That is the issue of tithing. Anita and I wanted to tithe, but we did not feel like we could. Of course, I know this was just a rationalization and excuse. Had I ever seriously analyzed what it would take to do so? No. I had not crunched any numbers to see what adjustments to our lifestyle were needed in order to tithe. This proved that my heart was not really in the right place. I knew the time had come to change this. At the same time I was resurrecting this thought process, Tim Woodroof began a series of lessons on money, tithing, and debt as spiritual issues, not as financial issues. His lessons were powerful and carried the impact of the truth. His series solidified my thinking. Whatever happens to my family, job wise, tithing from our gross income is going to be the first budget item, regardless of the changes we need to make.

Within days after making this decision, a major blessing occurred. Through the Belmont University placement office, I received a job notice for Sr. Operations Analyst at Ingram Barge Company. A close friend of mine worked for Ingram Barge. We met in the Belmont MBA pr0gram and become close friends and professional colleagues. My friend had already given Ingram my resume for general purposes much earlier. I called him to ask for assistance on this opportunity. He says, “They should have already called you. I gave my boss your resume several days ago. It is my job that they are trying to fill; I got a promotion.”

What a door the Lord opened for me! A great company and a job that would transition me from engineering into operations and business. This was a career path I was seeking, and on that was almost a necessity in order to stay in Nashville. Engineering opportunities were few. Ingram called and we set up an interview. The interview went okay, but I did not feel the man to whom I would report cared for my personality. He said he was concerned that I talked about myself too much. Well, it was an interview. I am supposed to present myself, but maybe he was right. I put this down as something to consider going forward. He also noted that I could talk a lot easily. Truth hurts.

More than a week had gone by with no word from Ingram. I begin resigning myself to another disappoint.

Faith Walk: Chapter 2

This post is part of a series of journal transcriptions from my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY during May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Part 1 journey will continue very soon in Part 2. I am posting just as I journaled.

Notes from Father Matthew’s Homily: Friday May 28, 2004 7:45 PM EST
Maximilian Kolbe, the Saint of Auschwitz, martyred himself at the Auschwitz death camp to save an innocent young man who was one of ten chosen to be killed as an example by the camp Commandant. The young man cried in anguish, “'My poor wife! 'My poor children! What will they do?” The catholic priest volunteered to take his place and the Commandant accepted his sacrifice. Some credit Kolbe’s actions as a major factor in the confession and conversion of Rudolph Hess in his last days.

1938 True Story: A young white man jumping into a moving rail car—half in, half out—could not pull himself in. Facing certain death, he prayed to God to save him. A large, black hand reached out and pulled him into the rail car. After the young man caught his breath, he rolled over to find the rail car empty. He says, “If man has a guardian angel, he is a large, black male in his mid-30’s.”

The phrase “knock on wood” refers to knocking on the wood of the cross.

What you do to your fellow man you do to Christ. Christ lives in the present and your sins affect Christ in the present. You only have one life on earth, and it is short, so live it for God. You will fail, and you are flawed, but push on. Your work will be imperfect, but what does that have to do with anything? Who you are doesn’t matter, but Who you know does!

Faith Walk: Chapter 1

This post is part of a series of journal transcriptions from my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY during May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Friday May 28, 2004 2:40 PM EST
It is a serene, early afternoon as I begin my second retreat at Gethsemani. I have walked to the top of St. Joseph’s Hill across from the entranceway to the Abbey, and I am sitting next to the statue that adorns the hill. Joseph, with the baby Jesus in his arms, looks out over the Abbey, while I gaze out over the rolling Kentucky Hills and miles of countryside. It is a warm, just bordering on hot, humid day with thick billowing clouds rolling over the hills surrounding the Abbey. Although the sun shines through frequently, you can feel rain in the air just waiting for its chance. When the breeze blows during cloud cover, it is cool and almost damp.

Thunder concussions, deep and vibrating, resonate in from the distance, while bright yellow butterflies chase each other above the high grass around me. Swallows skim over the meadows in stunning acrobatics performing their dinner ballet. Farm equipment drones peacefully from outlying fields. As with my first retreat, God has looked at my time line, and He has put me where I need to be on this weekend. I could not foresee where I would be, what decisions would be looming, what frame of mind I would be in six months ago when I booked this retreat. God did.

In October 2003, I made the decision to leave my employer, CIC Global. Things were not looking good, and I was certainly not happy. Therefore, I started the job search process. In December 2003, our owners announced that they were selling CIC. By February, they had a prospective buyer. The prospect, DCSI, was in St. Louis, MO, and I was not part of the deal; my position was redundant. My job search had been futile so far, and I knew I was going to lose this job after a deal was completed. I prayed fervently for God to be involved and to deliver me to a job.

Around March, DCSI brought everyone to St. Louis for interviews, a tour of the company, and a group tour with a realtor. They even invited me, although I had no idea why. Turns out, they had a position they needed to fill, and they thought I might be a viable candidate. The position was Director of Engineering over two departments totaling approximately 23 people. I very much wanted to stay in Nashville, but a good job with a decent company, and a big step forward professionally, would be difficult to refuse. In the following weeks, they brought me, along with my wife and daughter, back to St. Louis for additional interviews, for a management screening test, and to meet with a realtor. I quickly went from being the odd man out to being the envy of the office, as this position seemed to be better than did my co-workers potential positions.

After my family’s return from the professional courtship, I heard nothing from DCSI. This occurred in parallel with another failed opportunity that left me baffled and that shook my confidence. A Director of Engineering over a small development staff at Frigidaire was available in Springfield, TN about 30 minutes north of Nashville. The position was as perfect a match with my resume as one could hope for in a job search. A recruiter working on behalf of the company submitted my resume, but I could not even get a phone interview.

An engineer I had worked with at Chromalox, worked in this group at Frigidaire. He had played politics at Chromalox and had hurt both a very close friend of mine and me. We were his two best friends at work. He used subterfuge to become Engineering Manager even though I had better qualifications, a much longer tenure, and the endorsement of my colleagues. He was eventually fired from Chromalox. He later apologized to me. I told him it was fine and forgiven. I told him that if I had gotten the promotion I would have stayed at Chromalox. Instead, I ended up leaving to start a business, and I eventually signed on full-time with my primary customer, CIC Global. My family and I were much better off financially, and I professionally, with CIC. That whole process enabled my wife to leave her job to be a stay-at-home mother to our newborn daughter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

I thought everything was fine between us after his apology. The position at Frigidaire was this person’s boss. Whoever got the job, he would report to. After some tenaciousness on my part, the recruiter managed to secure a phone interview for me. The interviewer was trying to fill his former position having just been promoted. The interview went well I thought. We were both Vanderbilt alumni in Electrical Engineering, and we shared several professional colleagues through Belmont University where I had recently received my MBA. The scenario seemed perfect. I never heard back from him after the phone interview, which he concluded on a positive note implying a follow-up visit. I corresponded with him several times in an attempt to understand why the abrupt ending to the process. With me being a local candidate, he had little risk in a personal interview other than time. He never answered any of my voice mails, emails, nor letters. Nor did he ever explain to the recruiter either. A strange situation. I have no idea if my “friend” poisoned the well, but it is difficult not to suspect.

Heading into April 2004, I had no job prospects, not much hope, and termination at CIC Global was pending. I had constantly prayed through this process that the Lord give me the wisdom to discern His will and the strength to execute it.

I am interrupted in my writing at this point by an older gentleman who has walked to the hilltop and has begun talking on his cell phone! After concluding his call, he tells me he has been on retreat before. I guess the silent retreat aspect has eluded him. The retreats at Gethsemani are to be primarily silent. Only a few places are designated for conversation. The hilltop was not one of them. The man cheerfully ignores my silent, but polite, responses and proceeds to engage me in a one-way conversation.

I leave the hill deciding to walk to the statues of the Garden of Gethsemane.[1] As I am walking in the woods, I begin to pray. I try to empty myself asking God to fill me, for the Holy Spirit to fill me. “God, please speak to me and let me know the path you wish me to walk.” Immediately, I feel a sense of peace and gracious emotion. At this moment, I walk around a bend in the path and come upon one of the tablets, icons, and statues that adorn the paths and grounds at Gethsemani. This tablet reads, “Behold I send an angel before you, to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place which I have prepared. Give heed to him and hearken to his voice.” [Exodus 23:20-21] My eyes fill with tears. How can any one not believe in God our Father? If you seek him, he will find you and answer you! I am reminded of a statement by Father Matthew during one his homilies. “Never stop talking to God, and He will never leave you.”

I walk out of the woods into the meadow that surrounds the copse where the statues are located. Bluebirds and gold finches greet me their colors brilliant and vibrant. If you look carefully and quietly, you can find Hummingbirds in the copse edge, which is an impenetrable border of wildflowers. This is truly a place of peace and abiding with God. No one is around now. Thunder still echoes in the distance.

I walk into the copse and up to the statues. Looking at the statue of Jesus praying in agony, my eyes immediately cloud with tears again. I cannot look upon icons like this without emotion since seeing The Passion of Christ.

[1] The statues were donated in honor of a young seminarian who traveled to Alabama during the civil rights movement. Witnessing an escalating argument between a young women and a law enforcement officer who raised his weapon to shoot, he stepped in and took the bullet for her. A plaque at the path entrance to the statues reads: In memory of Jonathon M Daniel. Episcopal seminarian martyred in Alabama Aug. 20, 1965. Donated to the Monastery by William Coolidge of Boston, MA. Walker Hancock sculptor. May we always remember that the Church exists to lead men to Christ in many and varied ways, but it is always the same Christ.

Faith Walk: Prologue

This prologue begins a series of transcription of journal entries I made during my second retreat at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Trappist, KY that occurred from May 28 to May 30, 2004.

Prologue: 1st Gethsemani Retreat August 15-17, 2003
Thomas Merton, in his autobiography The Seven Storey Mountain, wrote, “Without a life of the spirit our whole existence becomes unsubstantial and illusory.”[1] In May of 2003 when I booked an August weekend retreat at Gethesemani Abbey, I had not yet read these words. I did not realize at the time that God’s spirit was influencing me, hoping that in my free will that I would act on His exhortation. I did act and His paternal love and mercy were revealed to me those many months later.

Gethsemani is situated among the rolling hills in the middle of Kentucky well off the main highways. The Abbey is surrounded by fields and miles of wooded land in which several small lakes are hidden. When you are on retreat at Gethsemani, it is almost entirely a silent respite. Your time is not directed. You are free to attend any of the eight daily prayer and worship periods of the monks with the first, Vigils, occurring at 3:15 AM. You have a room with linens supplied and meals are provided. You are absolved of any duties during your stay according to Saint Benedict’s Rule for Monasteries, which states the guest represents Christ and has a claim on the welcome and care of the community. The monks, the facilities, the worship services, and the surrounding miles of nature see to it that external distractions are removed. Merton, a monk at Gethsemani for twenty-seven years, described this atmosphere as a place “to entertain silence in the heart and listen for the voice of God—to pray for your own discovery.” The purpose of a Gethsemani retreat is communion with God through prayer, meditation, worship, and personal reflection. I cannot imagine anyone having a lukewarm experience in this place.

On the second day of my retreat, a beautiful Saturday morning with the sun burning off the early morning mist, I went for a walk to the statues of the Garden of Gethsemane. The statues are two life size sculptures, one depicting the apostles sleeping in the garden and the other of Christ praying in agony.[2] A serene hike through the woods and over a hill brings you to an opening meadow. In this large, mowed meadow is a copse engulfing a small hill where the statues are located. I did not proceed directly into the woods via the statue path, but decided to walk around the edge of the thicket in the meadow.

The edge of the thicket was a deep, impenetrable wall of wild flowers with bees and insects performing a wonderful symphony of nature. I was completely alone as I strolled around the far side of the hill. As I walked, I began to concentrate and reflect on the main purpose I had for this retreat. Not a purpose I consciously had three months prior, but a thorn that had recently moved from periodic discomfort to a pain of very sharp focus.

Over the last three years, I had been struggling with stress and unhappiness, even though my religious life was more active than ever. I was more involved at church, and I had started attending a small, intimate men’s fellowship. Yet, I was not content. Job stress seemed never ending. My marriage was not as intimate as it should be and was even contentious at times. I was searching for inner peace, but it eluded me. The only things that were bringing me happiness were my precious daughter, worship, listening to music or reading in solitude, and my men’s group. My unhappiness at work and home quickly brought me out of those fleeting moments of peace.

My crisis was that I was miserable trying to please others. I felt I could not do enough to please my wife, my boss, or the company president. This is not necessarily an indictment of these individuals; they were just the people in my life that required the most time and accountability. My self worth and acceptance have always been tied too much to what I perceived others think. I tend to associate my mistakes with failure. Small embarrassments become lingering trauma. I worry about what my peers’ and my acquaintances’ opinions of me are. Of all the circles in which I have moved throughout my life, schools, jobs, churches, etc., only in a very few have I felt that I truly fit. This behavior was slowly devouring me. In my men’s fellowship, we were studying simplicity and a contemplative life. I defined what this meant to me as peace of soul, a contentment that is removed from circumstance. I defined it, but why could I not achieve it?

I had discussed my struggles with a counselor and she asked me if I thought God was ever unhappy with me? I answered most assuredly. I sin, and He must get angry over some of the things I do. “Does this depress you in the same way?” she asked? I answered “no”, and she questioned, “why not?” I thought hard on this for a week. The answer I arrived at was God’s assured love for me, His grace through Christ. I have salvation despite my failings. She posed the question, “If you can see God this way and accept yourself because of it, even with sin, why do you elevate the opinion of others above this?” Merton described this paradox so well when he wrote:

The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other men! A weird life it is, indeed, to be living always in somebody else’s imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at last become real! [1]

Coming to Gethsemani I had reached a breaking point and God knew it. I just could not survive work and home anymore basing my feelings of self on the emotions of those around me. As I moved around the backside of the hill, I began to contemplate and pray about my unhappiness. I realized that I was basing my identity, not on Christ, but on my perceptions of the judgments of others. My minister, Tim Woodroof, had said we must find our identity in Christ alone. We are not spouses, fathers and mothers, business people, doctors, ministers etc. We are Christians.
I knew it as truth but I was not practicing it. Alone in contemplation and prayer, all this came to me in internal acceptance and understanding. How often do we know a truth in our minds, but fail to accept it in our hearts?

The light hit me in this meadow, my road to Damascus. God said to my heart, “I am your identity, accept it. Let go of what others think of you, or worse, what you think they think. I let my Son die for you. What more do you need to know about yourself?” [Ro. 5:1-5] Tears flowed. I am okay; not perfect, but loved by God. It is only through Christ that I am made perfect, and He loved me enough to die doing so. [Jn. 16:33]

I proceeded back to the statues and entered the wood to view them. I knelt down to pray in front of the sculpture of Jesus on His knees, head lifted heavenward, hands clasped over His face, praying in agony. I lifted up a prayer of thanks for God’s revelation and the peace I was feeling. I began by petitioning the Lord to empty me of myself and to fill me with His Holy Spirit. I then asked God to help me not focus on the people at work, to let me not judge myself through them, to help me be a good father, a good husband, and to ….

I realized I was immediately falling into the same ironic trap by praying for assistance in being those things that are not my root identity. They were not necessarily bad things to pray for, but off the mark at that moment. I emptied my heart. I prayed, “Let me focus on being your creature.” If I can do this then I cannot help but be a good father, husband, or employee. If I know my root identity, I will act from it. I had taken the first infant steps toward contentment that is removed from circumstance. I tried to record my emotions and contemplation in a psalm.

A Prayer of Supplication and Identity
Prayer and Lamentation
1 O Lord God, I came to you burdened and alone. My spirit pained; torment and ridicule haunted me.
2 Am I not a good husband, a loving father God? Am I not diligent and concerned at my work?
3 O why then, Father, cannot I make the world happy with me? Why do those surrounding me chastise me, O Lord?
4 Why am I not satisfied with myself? Why do I despair in my heart and beat upon my own soul?
5 O Father, it is not because I have turned from you! I worship and pray fervently. I serve you in more earthly ways than ever before.
6 Lord, my sins are fewer and less frequent than times past. Yet Your peace eludes me!
7 Why cannot I put on Your mantle of love and wear it like armour?
8 Your peace and love I taste at the plate of worship. Yet I cannot carry the fullness of the feast outside your Church.
9 The stomach of my soul growls with emptiness when I return to the world.

Revelation
10 In the solitude of Your splendor, Lord, You answered me.
11 Do I not love you!
12 Do not My blessings and grace sustain you!
13 Stop searching for worldly approval and human justification.
14 It is I who justified you through creation. It is I who justified you through My only Son.
15 He gave His life to earthly death, was crucified for you. What other justification do you require?
16 Wake up child and become a man in Christ! Your identity is found solely in My Son and Him alone.
17 Let the feast of His sacrifice fill you and sustain you forever!
_____________________________________

I had not read Merton’s comment on a life removed from the spirit when I booked the retreat. Yet those profound words succinctly express what God revealed to me that weekend. Although I had been a Christian all my life and I had a strong relationship with the Father, I still was not truly living in the Spirit. I had not completely undergone the spiritual transformation that is available to us when we accept Christ as our crucified and risen Savior, the One who died so that we might live eternally. That transformation for me is not being a Christian as a statement of fact, but being unable to separate my Christianity from myself anymore than being brown-eyed or being male. That my behavior and acts of charity are no longer motivated by Christian duty, but become an uncontrollable sharing of the overwhelming gift of grace.

Because I was not fully living in the Spirit, I was still a broken man. The truth is that much of my mental and emotional suffering was self-inflicted when I placed my identity in anything but Christ. I could not possibly achieve lasting peace and contentment independent of circumstance, because my life outside the spirit was not substantial and so much of what I thought I was, or supposed to be, was an illusion. Furthermore, I had never had a permanent movement of my will toward God’s will. Thus, my morals, my ethics, my actions, although sincere and good were at risk of being dead in the flesh, not alive in the Spirit. What is my purpose outside of Christ? What meaning does my life have outside the Spirit?

The struggle with my identity and my purpose are inevitable. It comes as I try to be in the world but not of the world. The busyness of my life, even in Christian activities, can allow Satan to systematically and covertly rob me of my true identity and cause me to seek justification through worldly actions. The primary avenues of his attacks are pride and the absence of stillness in my life. Only through regular removal from earthly matters to periods of contemplative prayer and meditation, can I retrench to the fundamental truths and renew myself in the Spirit—resulting in the rededication of my will to His will. Even Christ, in all His power and perfection, needed such time with His Father. Who am I, as a weaker creation, to need less?

So it is with all of us. We must constantly root our identity in the firm foundation of God’s living grace. Brothers and sisters, when you struggle with your identity, when you feel assailed and embattled by the world, I encourage you to take solace in Psalm 62: 1-8. [3]

1 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
3 How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down – this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
4 They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse.
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Footnotes
[1] Merton, Thomas. The Seven Story Mountain. Harvest Book Fiftieth Anniversary Ed., Harcourt Brace & Company 1999. ISBN 0-15-601086-0.

[2] The statues were donated in honor of a young seminarian who traveled to Alabama during the civil rights movement. Witnessing an escalating argument between a young women and a law enforcement officer who raised his weapon to shoot, he stepped in and took the bullet for her. A plaque at the path entrance to the statues reads: In memory of Jonathon M Daniel. Episcopal seminarian martyred in Alabama Aug. 20, 1965. Donated to the Monastery by William Coolidge of Boston, MA. Walker Hancock sculptor. May we always remember that the Church exists to lead men to Christ in many and varied ways, but it is always the same Christ.

[3] Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. The NIV and New International Version trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.

A version of this post first appeared in NewWineskins Magazine in the March/April Spiritual Formation Issue.

Upcoming Series

Almost a month ago I stated my plans for a series of blogs that brings some past journaling to life. Well, it is time. The first post will appear in the next day or two. It will be a prologue post about my first retreat to Gethsemani Abbey. A version of this experience was recently published in New Wineskins Magazine in their Spiritual Formation issue (Mar/Apr issue).

Last summer, during my second retreat at Gethsemani, I journaled about my faith walk over the last year or so. A period of spiritual growth, trial, and commitment that was greater than any other period in my life so far. Greater in terms of development during a specific time-frame. Something on the order of ~25% of the spiritual development in my life occurring in a 1-2 year period. Hard to quantify, and I am not really trying to do so. I am just trying to provide a feel for the effect of that time frame. At the end of the series I plan to summarize the events since the retreat, where I am, how things have worked out, etc.

So . . . stay tuned.

Tony

Jonathan Shaub is coming Home!

Follow the link and read about God's mercy and love. He is mighty! I am weeping tears of joy and praise as I write. My heart is exploding with praise and love and emotion that I cannot articulate. I am not sure I even want to try. I'll just reserve them for my Father and my Savior.
Just a few months ago we were praying that Jonathan would live, now he is coming home to Nashville. There were times of setbacks and slower than expected progress. But, in the past month Jonathan has leapt ahead of all expectations. But with God, the prayers of the world it seemed, and Jonathan, we should never have been surprised.

Hosanna, Hosanna, all praise to the Father.

Today is a day of celebration in my heart. Please read Jonathan's Blog.

Tony

Joy At Work

I am reading a book that I feel is a very important read, entitled Joy at Work [PVG 2005, ISBN: 0-9762686-0-4]. The author is Dennis Bakke, a Christian, who co-founded the largest energy company in the world. You can follow the embedded links herein for more information. I whole-heartedly believe in the methods Mr. Bakke discusses. They parallel another man's profound ideas, W. Edwards Deming, who has had a great impact on my thought process(ref. Out of the Crisis; The New Economics). I present the following excerpts, in italics, for your consideration. I hope it provokes comments and thoughts about Discipleship and Work. More importantly, I hope it inspires you to read the book.

FYI: Mr. Bakke lives on 1% of his income and gives the rest away.

Bakke's purpose:
My passion is to make work exciting, rewarding, stimulating, and enjoyable.

One reason I am plugging the book:
This book is for you if you are: ... A priest, pastor, imam, or rabbi who is looking for a better way to understand and explain the relationship between faith and the jobs where congregates spend much of their time.

Work values Bakke espouses:
... The shared values [of AES are] Integrity, Fairness, Social Responsibility, and Fun. ... We defined fun to mean rewarding, exciting, creative, and successful. The idea that a company could be fun kept AES fresh and vibrant for years.

Note: Mr. Bakke is no longer CEO of AES, but the shared values are still included in the company's Code of Business Conduct and Ethics].

Discipleship application:
... For Christians, Jews, and Muslims, the story of Adam and Eve and the Fall often is cited as the reason that work is difficult. A few years ago, I was asked to give the commencement address at Eastern University, a Christian school in Pennsylvania. My topic was "Fun in the Workplace." In preparation, I reread the Genesis account of the Creation and realized that many of us have misinterpreted the story. [bold type replaces original italic emphasis]

God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden. In the Garden, they named and cared for the animals. They tilled the ground and harvested the fruit and vegetables. In other words, they seemed to spend much of their time "working." Their work was not hard, difficult, or the least bit boring. It was paradise. The whole experience sublime. Of course, they sinned and were ousted from the garden, and life became more difficult. It is this last part of the story that appears to mark our attitude and expectations about work.

[Ref: Genesis 1:28; 2:15; 3:17-19. Gen. 2:3 (why the need for a Holy Day of rest if pre-fall man was to have no work?)]

Another way to view the story, however, is that God intended that the workplace be beautiful, exciting, and satisfying. Work was to be filled with joy. Work was a major reason for our creation. It was intended to be an important act of worship. It was one of the most significant ways in which we could honor our Creator. From this perspective it is our responsibility to do whatever we can to make the modern workplace the way it was intended to be. While I realize the world is not the Garden of Eden, I do believe it is incumbent on those of us in leadership roles to do whatever we can to make the workplace as fun and successful as we can. [bold type emphasis added]

Does this spur any thoughts, any revelations? Do you agree with Mr. Bakke? Disagree?

Peace, Tony