Always Believed In You

I have been out of town all week on business and behind on blogs. Here is a quick post of a wonderful song by the Arc Angels. The band put out only one album back in 1992. It was four great Texas musicians that put together the album as a tribute to Stevie Ray Vaughn in the wake of his tragic death in a helicopter crash. The musicians: Chris Layton (drums, backing vocals) and Tommy Shannon (bass, backing vocals)--they were the two piece backing band for Stevie Ray called Double Trouble; Doyle Bramhall II (guitars, lead vocals); and Charlie Sexton (guitars, lead vocals). You may have heard their names before if you are into Texas rock and blues.

Always Believed in You
(C. Sexton, Tonio K.)
Verse 1
I was born in the southland, down there in Texas USA
I was never supposed to know a moment of unhappiness in my life
Somehow it didn't work out that way

I was born back in the sixties
Iwas born and raised to win
We had beaten back the darkness
Somehow the darkness slipped back in

Chorus
If I ever get to heaven
which I hope I'm gonna do
They'll say, "How did you know,"
I'll say, "I just knew."
I always believed in you

Verse 2
I went looking for a lover, but I didn't know the rules
I made six wrong turns and nearly died
But the 7th time I made it through

I went looking for the answers, I wanted nothing but the truth
I went driving towards the light at a hundred miles an hour
But I was running low on proof

Chorus 1
If I ever get to heaven
which I hope I'm gonna do
They'll say, "How did you know,"
I'll say, "I just knew."
I always believed in you

Bridge 1
Gonna walk right up to the bossman. I gonna say,
"I couldn't believe the crazy scene down there
It was kinda like living in a dream down there
There wasn't too much to believe in down there
But believe it or not, I always believed in you."

Chorus 2
If I ever get to heaven
which I hope I'm gonna do
And they say, "How did it go,"
I'll say, "I made it through."
I always believed in you

Bridge 2
I couldn't believe the crazy scene down there
It was kinda like living in a dream down there
Couldn't believe much of anything dwon there
But believe it or not, I always believed in you.

copyright 1992 Sextunes Music/N.Y.M./WB Music Corp/PressmanCherryMusic ASCAP


I'll post a bonus song too since this album is one of my all time favorites. This next song is the writer's agony in loosing his close friend, Stevie Ray Vaughn. Try to hear a slow, soulful blues song.

See What Tomorrow Brings
(D. Bramhall II)
All good things must come to an end
If I could only be there again
For just a little while

I hear voices in the air
I wish I could be there
Maybe someday--I don't know
Maybe someday, maybe some way, I don't know

Chorus
Wait just long enough
See what tomorrow brings
Wait just long enough
See what tomorrow brings

There's so many things that I could have said
I hope someday that I could be led
Led by your hand wherever we go

I can't bear the thought of that day
I wish that it could be wiped away
Maybe someday, maybe some way, I don't know

Chorus
Wait just long enough
See what tomorrow brings
Wait just long enough
See what tomorrow brings

Why do things have to happen this way
I felt so much anger
When they put away, Stevie Ray

Living life is so hard to do
When all my time is spent missing you
Trying to to get by without your love

I have so many feelings to share
But I look up and you're not there
All I have is memories

Chorus
Wait just long enough
See what tomorrow brings
Wait just long enough
See what tomorrow brings

copyright Doylebo Music BMI adm. by Bug

Don Quixote and the TSA

Homeland Security Made Perfect

I don't normally use my blog to rant, and I would like to think this post is not a rant but something of importance in sharing information on what is really going on in our country. But it is probably just a rant. So forgive and indulge me.

Just about a year ago, I found out my name had been added to the TSA Watch List which makes flying a royal pain in the posterior. I was added nearly 5 years after 9/11, not immediately after. Rest easy U.S. citizens, Tony Arnold is on the watch list. You are safer.

Now this is an incredibly necessary security measure because screening my check-in luggage, screening my carry-on, and personally checking my ID and boarding pass as I go through airport security (by a TSA employee) is not enough. No, I must also personally check-in to get my boarding pass. The poor airline employee at the ticket counter putting up with frustrated potential terrorists must check me. He or she is the real first line of defense for Homeland Security.

For those on this list: No getting my boarding pass on-line. No getting my boarding at an airline kiosk. We can't even get it at the departure gate or curb-side check-in. The only place we can get a boarding pass is at the airline ticket counter. Go directly to jail, do not pass go; do not collect boarding pass. And we all know that the real criminal will use a name on the Watch List--right?

Without seat assignments, flying Southwest is now miserable. Southwest used to be my favorite airline, but not now because I will always be a "C" boarder. And, someone with a degenerative knee condition, two knee surgeries, and needing one knee replaced, any seat not on an isle is painful. I can endure so I never ask for the blue boarding pass. People with real disabilities need those.

Forget my inconvenience. It was not until I got on this list did I really realize how Draconian and insidious much of our Homeland Security acts are. You cannot find out why you are on this list. The TSA website tells you that you will never be removed from the list. Any real information about the list is buried on the TSA website which is made to look so wonderful and benign that it makes me physically ill.

Here is some real information about the watch list (I do not endorse these websites, FYI only): AlterNet, Infants on the Watch List, Electronic Privacy Information Center, Google TSA Search. I am no fan of the ACLU, but if there was ever a time they could do some real civil liberties work this is it. Here is the ACLU's TSA stance.

It was only when landed on this list I began to see the real Bush administration. I don't think it was coincidence that I also had been having the change of heart on real discipleship about this time and discovering the book Mere Discipleship. God works in mysterious ways to open our eyes.

Anyway, the purpose of my blog is to share my most recent Don Quixote like effort after 9 months of futility following government protocol. I just sent out the letter below in hopes of affecting progress. I sent the letter to the TSA Ombudsman, my Senators, my Congressmen and woman, the White House, and Vice President Cheney. If I drop off the face of the blog world, you can probably guess why. Maybe I will end up on a pop T-shirt or part of a Bono campaign.

Dear ...,

For over a year now, I have been on the TSA Watch List. I submitted the appropriate filings per TSA guidelines to the agency ~9 months ago. I have not received any confirmation on the process. I wait for hours on hold on the phone to find out and never get a human. The one time I did get a human, she did not speak English. Neither of us could understand the other and the call had to be terminated. How can someone who is obviously not a native of this country and cannot speak the language be in involved in national security?

I still cannot fly without duress. The TSA web site tells me I will never be taken off the list although I have done nothing wrong. Ironically, I am the Administration’s ideal demographic: a southern, middle-aged, white, protestant male, professional (EE, MBA), Republican. I voted for President Bush twice. Yet, I have been labeled a potential threat and have no recourse to clear my name.

Is there truly no way to be removed from a government watch list even though innocent of any offense? Is there really no way to find out the status of my filing for clearance?

I have to travel for business often and the TSA falsely accusing me has affected my ability to earn a living. When I travel, I spend more time checking in for flights than I do actual flying. I am forced to drive now if I am within 6-8 hours of my destination.

Please do not respond that I have not been accused of anything and that my rights are not being violated. This is just not true. Prior to Jan. 2005, five years after 9/11, I could travel with ease. Now I am listed on a watch list; cannot get a boarding pass through normal methods; cannot find out why I have been listed; cannot be removed from the list; and cannot get any status on my situation. That is punishment for being a model U.S. citizen.

I have never caused any problem or done anything wrong my entire life. In addition, I pay huge taxes for this right to be incriminated without cause.

Please, there must be some way a law-abiding citizen can be served by his government rather than being punished. Our government is punishing the innocent. This is reminiscent of the progressive repression by the Gestapo during WWII. We are sacrificing freedom for the disillusion of safety. We tell the world and our soldiers that freedom is worth dying for, but then tell our citizens we must sacrifice freedoms for false security. That is not the America we founded. But it seems to be the America our children will inherit.

And to the readers who are chuckling--I agree--I got the government I voted for. But my eyes were not open then. America, I apologize.

Going In The Right Direction

I love this song by the Robert Randolph & The Family Band. To listen to it, just follow the link and click the song title on the bottom of the web page (play list).

The band is incredible; a mix of rock, soul, funk, blues, and gospel. Robert Randolph plays lead pedal steel guitar on par with other great rock guitarists such as SRV, Joe Bonamassa, Jimmy Page, Hendrix, Joe Perry, etc. Their style is unique and their songs so uplifting. Very refreshing in todays rock world.

Going In The Right Direction
CD: Unclassified
Music & lyrics by Robert Randolph © 2003, Happy Fingers Publishing

1. I was lost
I thought the losing dice were tossed
Didn’t know where to go
Didn’t have no one to turn to
I’m glad I found you just in time
I won’t miss those things I left behind

Chorus
Now I’m going in the right direction
Going in the right direction

2. Now I’ve found
The road I need to travel down
I don’t know what tomorrow brings
Day by day with you I’ll do the same thing
I’m so glad I’m standing on my own two feet
No more running into that dead end street

Chorus
Now I’m going in the right direction
Going in the right direction

Bridge
You better get right
Or you’re gonna get left


I stumbled upon another blog who felt the same while searching for the lyrics in electronic form. However, Songdevotions went into more detail on how the songs applies

Maria's First Snow (sort of)

The small amount of snow we received last night was really the first snow Maria has been able to get out an play in. She is 5, and the last snow we got of even minor accumulation (like the sad amount received last night) she was just a baby. Nashville just doesn't get much snow any more. Seems like when I was a kid we got at least 2-3 good snows every winter.

Anyway, here are some pics for all to enjoy.

First snow angel.

What's your name?

Hard work, so strong!

The World Outside

Amy's encouraging comment to this statement I made in a comment to my last post brought to mind a song that relates to my last two posts.

Tony: "I was an outsider too until I left a small private, Christian school for the shelter of public school."
Amy: "Love the comment... . That speaks volumes."

So in keeping with my recent trend, I am posting the lyrics to the song.

RUN
by Pinnick, Tabor, and Gaskill

Yeah she told me, that if I wasn't good
He would get me, make me pay for everything I did,
and she said that everybody bad would burn in Hell
I did what she told me and I became someone else.

I had to run
I had to hide
In the world outside
A better chance, out there
If God is everywhere.

I wait for nothing, take my chances let it ride
maybe there's an answer but it's buried by the lies
Somebody told me that it's just a waste of my time.
But I can't get rid of all those bags I left behind

I had to run
I had to hide
In the world outside
A better chance, out there
If God is everywhere.

Now, I am not trying to be hard on us Christians or to criticize. But I do implore us to be very careful on how we conduct ourselves. Let's always try to draw people to Christ and not let our prideful humanity alienate others or each other. It is possible to be different--set apart, in the world but not of it--and to be this with love and compassion. And this means being that light with our Christian brothers and sisters as well as the world.

Male Dysfunctionality and Learned Behavior

I had success blogging from my journal (that I keep very sporadically). I thought I would share another past entry. I feel my last post of lyrics was a perfect prelude. You might find interesting to re-read that post after reading this one.

August 27, 2003
I am reading Pat Conroy's My Losing Season. The dialogue between the basketball players, the derogatory jaw-jacking, brings back memories from my days of organized sports and private high school (Conroy played basketball at the Ciadel).

The abusive intercourse between teammates presented as a perverse form of camaraderie. Don't they see it for what it is? I did even in my youngest years, and I detested it. I did not know the term for it then--dysfunctional behavior--but I recognized its manifestation. Males not secure or happy with themselves and masking it with a defensive, often aggressive exterior; and so many times this behavior resulting in the degradation of others.

I saw so much of this in organized, ritualistic or segregated groupings such as private school activities. It did not take place with my 2 or 3 closest male friends, or with my neighborhood playmates before junior high school and suburban lifestyle seperated us even though we still lived in the same neighborhood. I did not witness such becahvior near as much in public school clicks, teams, and organizations. It seemed that the wider diversity of public school versus private promoted more tolerance and acceptance. Maybe the reason was you could always find a group in which you fit and these clicks tended to leave each other alone.

At a small private school, the school was the click and you were either in or out. The absolute worst existence for a human is to be on the inside, physically in the midst, while knowing you are on the outside in every other aspect. On the inside looking out--captive yet excluded.

I think most males from at least half-way normal environments are fine until around 10 years of age. Then the world rips us apart. The pressures of hormones, acceptance, and awareness coupled with the false teachings of advertising and other social influences rob us of the inner peace and confidence we had. All these things pull at us and tell us we aren't what we should be. Who we are is not enough. We aren't cool enough, tough or strong enough, attractive enough, athletic enough, etc.

Who is teaching us to love, to care, to discern? Who is teaching we are not Christ enough and that is the real problem?

Around ten, all of a sudden we don't fit in. What really changed? It is like Adam and Eve eating of the forbidden fruit. We suddenly have awareness disguised as knowledge, but we lack maturity and experience. We are left on our own to be functional, and therefore dysfunctionality reigns.

We all are just seeking a common ground of acceptance. But, we don't have the total self-awareness, knowledge, and maturity to build each other up to a higher common plane. So we react rationally to the system and drag each other down trying to reach a common level.

Do our parents, teachers, and churches see this happening and help? In most cases, no. Help is sparse and infrequent. By being so, we disregard wisdom with our defensive bravado when we hear it. We know there is truth there, but we look around to see if our peers are too saying yes. No one is, no collective dropping of the guard, so no change.

Why don't our adults help? They are probably not even aware of what we are feeling. Wrapped in our insecurity and pain and unreality, we think we are the problem so we do not open up to our adult community. In addition, they are too busy to slow down to ponder what are our children going through at this age? What should I be watching for? How did I feel at that age?

Besides, how could they really help? They have already been through this cycle, and they think it is the norm thus reinforcing and perpetuating the brainwashing. It will pass. It is part of life. Suck it up, life ain't fair.

Young people need a constant barrage of love, truth, and compassion, and discipline to counter the constant influence of the opposite.

But when a couple of hundred of these southern French boys were thrown together in the prison of that Lycee, a sublte change was operated in their spirit and mentality. In fact, I noticed that when you were with them seperately, outside the school, they were mild and peaceable and humane enough. But when they were all together there seemed to be some diabolical spirit of cruelty and viciousness and obscenity and blasphemy and envy and hatred that banded them together against all goodness and against one another in mockery and fierce cruelty and in vociferous, uninhibited filthiness. Contact with that wolf pack felt very patently like contact with the mystical body of the devil: and especially in the first few days, the members of that body did not spare themselves in kicking me aournd without mercy.

--Thomas Merton. The Seven Storey Mountain: An Autobiography of Faith. Harcourt Brace & Co. 1948, renewed 1976 Merton Legacy Trust.

Subdivisions and Paint The Mirror Black

I have fallen into blogging songs lyrics perdiodically. I think this will become a routine as I like to share song lyrics that I feel convey a message or that mirror thoughts that are on my heart. So today I include two songs from one of my all time favorite bands, Rush. These two songs are a perfect prelude for my next post that is in the edit phase.

I love these two songs and they should be required listening for every teenager!

Lyrics: Neil Peart (percussion)
Music: Alex Lifeson (guitar), Geddy Lee (bass, vocals, keyboards, foot pedals)

Subdivisions
Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown

Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone
Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone

(Chorus)
Subdivisions
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help disprove the unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth

Drawn like moths we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night

Well some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights...

(Chorus)
Subdivisions
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help disprove the unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth

War Paint
Girl before the mirror appraises her disguise
Child become a mother tries to fix her eyes
No more of his excuses it has to be today
She can keep her fantasy if she can get away

Paint her name on a one-way street
Painted cheeks with angry heat
Wounded pride on painted eyes
Paint the night with battle cries

All puffed up with vanity
We see what we want to see
To the beautiful and the wise
The mirror always lies

Boy before the mirror checks his camouflage
Polishes his armor and the Charger in the garage
No more lame excuses it has to be tonight
He can take the Princess if he can take the fight

Pound the drums with martial beat
Pound the streets with marching feet
Wounded pride, distorted eyes
Paint the night with battle cries

All puffed up with vanity
We see what we want to see
To the powerful and the wise
The mirror always lies

Boys and girls together
Mistake conceit for pride
Ambition for illusion
Dreams for self-delusion

Girls and boys together
See what it is we lack
Boys and girls together
Let's paint the mirror black
Paint it black!